I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I look better un-naked...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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