she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
