the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
