I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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