I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
