I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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