How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
babies were throwing up all over the place
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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