what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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