i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you traded sex for a burrito?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
birth control should be required to get into college
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
