I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
