dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
