I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
