id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
