At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
