Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
