Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
and i looked up. we had an audience...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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