I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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