Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
