Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
