Already got asked if we're dating
Kiss
Puke
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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