I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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