The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
