Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
