I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
