Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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