I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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