I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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