That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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