All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Who wears a wallet chain?!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You are a booty call, not a friend.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
