I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
