Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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