So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
