he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Text me some of your sweat
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
