So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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