i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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