I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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