I will die if light touches me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
