So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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