My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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