Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
