he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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