Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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