I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
