i may or may not be watching the land before time
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
