guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
