It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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