Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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