jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
