I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
