A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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