bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
